She

Remus/Nymphadora oneshot
in English. It's not really a story and has got no dialogues in it. It's just how Remus saw Tonks, from their first moments to the last ones. Her hair and her feelings through his eyes.
(...megint angolul, bocsi. Cserébe ma raktam fel egy fordítást is, ami szintén Remus/Tonks, szóval igazán nem hanyagolok senkit. :) )


The first time Lupin met her, she was wearing a pink T-shirt and her hair glittered with the exact same shade of pink. She was a rebellious young woman, still wearing the marks of her teenage years. She was loud and plain and funny, so she almost succeeded in making people forget how clumsy and ever-changing she was. Lupin found her annoying and fascinating at the same time. She was adorable.

The second time they met, Tonks wore simple black robes but her hair was bright purple. She was smiling at him all the time and he didn't have a clue why. She tripped over in her own foot and he caught her. The next moment, her hair was burning red, just like her face turned scarlet. She was adorable yet highly distracting. He should have been paying attention to the meeting, but she kept talking to him about a muggle boy band and about Quidditch and about work and she was driving him mad. But he couldn't stop her, because every time he tried, he found himself taken aback by her shining eyes or funny-shaped nose or her hair which she changed every so often. She was interesting.

After a few times, Lupin got used to her always changing hair and nose. And, apparently, her always changing mood. She was green haired and laughing in one moment, then angry and red haired in the next. He found it amazing how strongly she reacted every time someone dared to call her by her first name. After this discovery he grabbed every opportunity to say Nymphadora in her presence. Not just because he loved that this way her attention was fully on him, but also because he thought her name really fitted her. It was unique and special. He wanted her to accept it and use it proudly. And yet, it annoyed her so she blushed and stared at him angrily. She was cute.

It took him a while to realise how really clever she was. It should have been obvious, she was an Auror after all. But everyone seemed to stuck at her clumsiness and her metamorphic abilities. The members of the Order saw her as a good soldier, a valuable member and a bungler. The children could laugh at her funny faces and color-changing hair for a long time. And they never really knew how determined and excited and emotional she could get. Nobody but Sirius really seemed to appreciate how entertaining a discussion with her could be. Lupin realised this and tried to spend a bit more time with her. She was smart.

Being friends with Nymphadora meant they had not just heated discussions but also lots of fun together. Lupin had never really been the type of person who made jokes and pranks but he always enjoyed them. Every time Sirius and James had been about to do something highly reprehensible he had tried to convince them not to, but at the end he had laughed with them all the same. Funny people made him feel carefree and happy. And every time she said a joke or responded to one of Sirius's teasing with a witty sentence, Lupin would laugh and feel light-hearted again, for the first time in forever. This bright and colourful witch made this to him. She was amusing.

And then they became more than friends. Nymphadora fell in love with him. He couldn't believe it and knew instinctively that this was going to ruin everything. And it did. He tried to stay away from her, push her away, but it was really hard since she was so innocent and trusting and he just didn't have the heart. But then death happened. Sirius died and from that point on Remus knew he was cursed. Everybody who got close to him died. There was more than enough proof for him. He hardened his heart and turned her down. He thought he had never seen such a painful face in his life before. Her hair turned black and her eyes dim brown. She was wounded.

Avoiding her and going to months-long assignments seemed to make it easier. Well, not for him, but hopefully for her. He was desperate and lonely and every time he agreed to go to a life-threatening mission he felt it was the only reason he stayed alive when all his friends had died. So he could be useful and suffer for some more time. He hadn't deserved death yet. And when he returned home and met her, she was skinny and pale and sad, even withdrawn, her hair mousy brown, and Lupin was drowning in guilt. She looked at him with pain in her watery eyes and he knew so well that he had let her down. She was lovelorn.

Dumbledore died. Bill Weasley got bitten by Fenrir Greyback. Lupin's world was falling apart. And she, so sweet and loyal, announced that she still loved him, with people being around them. She couldn't take it any more and she confessed her love and that she just didn't care about the potential dangers and unambiguous disadvantages that came with being with him. Her eyes were bright again, and how on Earth could he say no? He just broke. He accepted the love she gifted him with and her hair was pink once again. They went to Dumbledore's funeral together, and though he felt lost after his only real mentor, who had been thought to be kind of immortal, just died, he couldn't be fully mourning. He had now someone by his side. And she was precious.

She was his wife, for real, and she was pregnant with his kid. With their kid. Her hair was blond and she was smiling all the time. She was proud of their yet unborn child. And he couldn't really feel the same way. He was sure he made a disastrous step by impregnating her. What if the poor child was going to be a werewolf? He wouldn't bear the shame and guilt coming with it. What had he done? He felt awful, yet he was sure he did the right thing when he left her. She cried and her hair changed to dim brown again and he walked out of her life. She was lost.

But then came Harry and the truth hit him right in the face. He was a coward and a terrible husband. He was an awful father, too, by neglecting his duties. He went back to them, shame burning his insides. His wonderful Dora was doubtful and hurt, yet she hugged him close and cried and laughed. She's already had a little baby bump. Her hair changed to that familiar shade of pink again indicating she was happy. They were together, again, and this time forever. He looked at her pregnant wife and thought he had never seen such a beautiful thing before. She was lovely.

Their son was just born. Teddy. He was the cutest little baby ever, and when his mother took him in her arms and smiled down at him, the kid's short hair turned to turquoise. Lupin laughed with amusement and his wife, his child's mother, changed her hair to the same turquoise to match their son's. Merlin, he loved them so much. They were his life.

Nothing lasts forever, he knew that, but he hoped they would get just a little bit more time to enjoy their new life. Their new family. But the Battle came, and he had to leave. He kissed and hugged his little baby boy and his Dora. He feared he wouldn't return but swore he would anyway, just to make the utter fear disappear from his wife's eyes. It remained there, her hair brown again, but he left. He had to protect his family, but at least he knew that they were at home. They were safe.

Untill Dora came after him. He wanted to shout at her for being such a reckless mother, putting herself into danger, but he couldn't. He knew exactly why she came. She was brave and strong and wanted to fight by his side. It was he who needed her that night, more than their son at home. She wanted to help winning the battle so Teddy would grow up in a better and safer world. Her brown hair flew in the chilly wind while she fought Death Eaters with surprising speed and strength. She was a hero. His hero.

Yeah, so this is it. I almost cried when I wrote it.